To See or Not to See: The Bling Ring

the-bling-ring01 via brightest young things

via BrightestYoungThings.com

It takes a lot to get me into the movie theaters these days. The price has gotten incredibly steep – and whenever I find myself in the movie goer frame of mind I come out having consumed a large popcorn and giant size bag of Raisinettes. I know, I’m gross. Whatever.

liz lemon via gifrific

via Gifrific.com

But when my friend and I saw the commercial for the new Sophia Coppola movie “The Bling Ring”, we promised each other we’d make it our business to get our butts in those chairs. Not only did Emma Watson make me laugh straight from the trailer, but I figured it would be chock full of trendy goodness that I could blab about here on SLM. However, I left unable to dissuade or convince myself to recommend this movie, and let me tell you why…
First of all, for those of you who don’t know (lolz, I know you all know), the Bling Ring is movie that follows the story of a group of Callabassas teenagers who go on a robbery spree of the rich and famous residents of the Hollywood Hills (think Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, LiLo). Also Emma Watson plays a betchy teenage party girl. That’s basically all you need to know about the plot.
i hate them via bling ring tumblr

Reasons I say “see it”:
1) Rick Ross, Azelia Banks, Frank Ocean, and Pheonix. A modern day music nerds dream. The whole time I found myself dancing in my seat with a huge grin on my face waiting for another perfectly placed jam.

via v-i-r-t-u-a-l-reality.tumblr.com

2) The clothes. Like, duh. These girls were running around stealing Megan Fox’s clothes, Audrina’s bags, and Paris’ jewelry. If I wasn’t so disgusted by the excess these celebs boasted (Paris’ Paris pillows…see below), I would have been super jealous. Just kidding, I’m still super jealous.

paris pillow via esquire.com

via Esquire.com

3) Let me reiterate. EMMA EFFING WATSON. Girlfriend has grown up and damn does she look good. Not only was she super-hot the entire movie, but she completely embodied the character she was cast to play – a snobby rich American teenager with complete disregard for the consequences that her actions bring. I was so shocked how easily she shed the good girl/outsider persona from Harry Potter and Perks of Being a Wallflower, but she transformed into a popular party girl, with a substance problem and an oblivious mother played by Leslie Mann. Perfect.

friends via yahoo

via Yahoo

Reasons I say “skip it”:
1) Slow and confusing plot. It starts at the end, then moves to the middle, then someone gets a DUI, then we’re at the start again. I know the point was to be artsy and cinematic, but much of it seemed gratuitous and unnecessary.

stess via bling ring tumblr

 via bling ring tumblr

2) Netflix. This movie is not something you need to see on the big screen. There are no major special effects that make this a must see in theaters, no plot spoilers that will make viewing it moot. Ain’t no Avatar gurrrl.

The overall consensus: wait until you can watch at home. Save the $20.00 bucks you’d spend on tickets and popcorn, and invite the ladies over to watch over a take-in feast. That way, you can zone in and out and only pay attention to the good stuff. Like this :

meow via perez hilton

By Molly Kadish

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