Moving On

“Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” -unknown

It’s rare to be in your twenties  without having experienced the feeling of your heart falling into a million little pieces.  If you haven’t, you’re one of the lucky ones. It can feel like a mini-death and bouncing back from grief can be a bumpy road. To love and to be loved is one of the greatest feelings in the world.  I think we were made to love, but we are also made to learn, change and progress. Moving on is one of those changes that helps us learn and progress in our lives. We all deal with heartbreak and the stages of moving on differently. Letting go of love and memories is not the easiest thing to do, but guess what?  You don’t have to.  Moving on and letting go doesn’t mean you have to replace those feelings of love with hate, or heartbreak with anger.  It’s easier said than done, but it can be done.  You just need to understand a few facts of life and moving on will become a much easier process for you.

Credit: Fox

Credit: Fox

Positive vibes over negative vibes - We can all think back to those times when things were perfect, but when things are beyond the point of fixing, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. No one wants to be in a negative relationship and no one deserves to be either. For one reason or another it didn’t work out.  You experienced love, you learned, and that chapter of your life is now done with that person.  Not every question has to be answered. Sometimes answers we so desperately seek now come later in life, when we are ready to accept them.  Sitting around being negative will get you nowhere. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.

Take this for example: “I hate him, he hurt me, he’ll never find someone like me.”

Turn it around: “I wish him well, I will get over the hurt, he and I just we’re not meant to be, someday we’ll both find who is right for us.”

Turning around your thoughts takes time, but you will surely feel empowered when you do. It sounds silly, but you are what you think. Thinking hurtful thoughts only hurts you. What’s the point of putting bad energy into your own life? Positive vibes only.

Release your regrets - It’s healthy to feel free to express your feelings, but don’t drown in them. Limit how much you vent. Revisiting the past in your head opens you up to even more heartache. Focus on the good things going on in your life. Don’t sit and dwell on what could be or where he/she or you went wrong.  Regrets are just extra pain you are holding onto.
Quieting these thoughts will help you move on. You can’t change the past but you can look at each of your relationships as lessons. Focus on your friends who are there for you, and the lessons you learned that will help you with your future relationships.  There is nothing good down the road of regret. Forgiving yourself and the other person is the first step of moving on.  You deserve to be happy.  We are entitled to make mistakes, and learning from them will be the biggest lesson that can improve your life.

Finding hope and holding it close - When you’re holding onto something, you are less likely to be open to giving and receiving anything else.  You will love again. You will be loved again. Appreciate the things around you that add to your life and fill your heart with gratitude for those things. This will help you feel more centered and help you to recognize that there still are wonderful things and people in your life. Think back to times in your life when you felt like nothing was ever going to work out, or when you thought nothing would change. Did you survive it? Did it work out? Do you even think about it anymore?  More than likely it worked out, and no, it doesn’t even cross your mind.

Remember this famous quote: “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

This will pass, you will find love again–you just have to stay hopeful.


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  • Reply May 29, 2014


    Very well written and very encouraging. I think the hardest part of letting go is that when you try to do so, you really only flash back to the good times with your love and try and hold onto reasons of why you should stay with them. Very few people like to recall why the relationship didn’t work out. Understanding why is very important and I think this article hits upon that point.

  • Reply June 1, 2014


    Great post, really needed to read this.

  • Reply June 5, 2014


    Terrific piece: Insightful. Well-written. Shayda, you’ve really presented a mature and profound understanding of love and relationships, calling upon us to see the nobility in ourselves and our loved ones. Grateful.