Dear Jack: BFFs?!


Dear Jack-

One of my boyfriend’s best friends is a girl he went to college with – she was a sweetheart for his fraternity and I met her over Christmas last year.  Earlier this week he told me while he was at a college football game they slept in the same bed.  He said that they did not do anything and it’s totally cool because they never will.  But, I am flipping out!  How do I respond without looking crazy/jealous?


Dear Concerned Cary,
Like I have mentioned before, crazy things happen during college football season, but – I see your point.  I would not be too keen on someone I was dating hoping into bed with an old college buddy. First, I would confirm nothing actually happened – because if something did you have total authority to knock him in the nuts.  Additionally, I have mentioned before that relationships are all about setting expectations and boundaries. So I would calmly ask to speak to him – and let him know that this type of behavior is NOT okay with you.


Moving forward, you shouldn’t hold this over his head.  If he argues, don’t use the “How would you feel if I slept in the same bed as John” routine.  Just tell him it’s the behavior you expect from him.  Look at this way, some guys wouldn’t even mention it to their girlfriend and that would throw up a significant red flag in my book.  Once you have addressed the issue with him – no need to address the issue with her.  She will probably get the message.


Hope this helps,


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