Fall is almost upon us, and with it, football season. This year, for the first time, I’ve joined a fantasy team. I’ve followed the Saints religiously and the NFL more generally since college, so I thought that my background football knowledge would be enough. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. However, with some extensive research and more than a few desperate texts to my brothers, I’m ready for my draft.
Here are the basics you need to get started:
Picking a team name: There are a few different directions to take while picking a team name. Puns and double entendres are always a safe choice, similarly to if you play trivia or are on an intramural sports team (for example, I’m currently on a beach volleyball team called “I’d hit that”). Another direction is to riff off a sports team or player. For example, “What would Breesus Do?” after Saints quarterback Drew Brees or, on a darker note, “Aaron Hernand-cuffs.” Obviously, this is not the time to be polite.
Know your stuff: As much fun as it is to pick a team name, that’s not actually going to win you any points. Getting a good team is priority one. Off the top of my head, if I got everyone I wanted, I could craft a perfect team with amazing players and we’d always win. It’s highly unlikely that will happen. Someone will probably take my ideal defense and reliable tight end, and I’ll have to adjust. Also, even though quarterbacks are the big talk of ESPN, you probably don’t want to draft them first. Towards the end of the draft, the superstars may be gone, but these “sleepers” can make or break your season. A general knowledge of the NFL isn’t enough. With the breadth of esoteric knowledge that is required to play successfully, fantasy football gets nerdy- and fast. Embrace it. Get better at stats than you were when you took it as a math requirement. There’s bragging rights, and, in all likelihood, money on the line.
On a team of guys: Fantasy football is a largely male-dominated activity. Don’t let it discourage you. Maybe it’s just because I grew up with brothers, but I don’t know that there’s a better way to spend a Sunday than having a few beers and watching a game (much better than shopping). It doesn’t hurt that while I’m hoping Jimmy Graham’s running game gets me some points, I’m also hoping he comes to his senses and calls me, already. That being said, try to keep the catcalls to a minimum, and don’t draft your team based on attractiveness. If you’re lucky, you’ll get some dreamboats who also kill it on the field, like spokesmodel Tom Brady. Regardless, get ready to trash talk. Watch “The League” if you need some inspiration.
Like anything, you get out of it what you put in. Not everyone will have the time, interest, or stamina to make it to the playoffs. If you enjoy sports and a bit of friendly competition, why not get a personal stake in it? Just remember: a good team name will get you laughs, not points.
By Anna Shults
Jimmy Graham
I’m a tight end. I don’t have a running game.