If you happen to pass by a middle school today and see swarms of girls crying and pulling out their hair, don’t be alarmed. It’s not that Johnny didn’t ask one girl to the junior prom, or that another didn’t make the cheerleading squad, it’s just that all they know and love has been destroyed by the Jonas Brothers officially splitting up.
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It all started a few weeks ago when the Bros cancelled their 19-day tour, citing a “creative rift in the band” –according to what the brothers told People Magazine — and continued yesterday when the band made their breakup official. It was thought to be Kevin’s baby on the way that made the band call it quits, but according to the bros, that had nothing to do with it.
I’ve watched that reality show about Kevin and his wife Danielle and she seemed pretty pushy, but even if she had been the driving force behind the split I can’t say I blame her for, you know, wanting her husband around and not making Tweens sweat while she carries their child. Either way, there’s nothing we can do because the Jonas Brothers are no more.
But is this really that much of a surprise? After all, One Direction has sort of had the boy band game in a choke hold for the past few years. The Jonas Brothers took a lengthy hiatus that may have done them some personal good, but didn’t necessarily propel their music career.
Well, my eyes are burnin’ up, burnin’ up with tears writing this, but I can only hope that this little divorce o’ Jonas can help the bros grow stronger and make room for a comeback tour of epic proportions in 30 years when they’re strapped for cash and their current fans are hitting menopause–they’ll sell a ton of tickets then, and even more hand-held fans.
Oh, and if you were worried this musical split might drive the brothers apart on a personal level, like I was, never fear–the bros are sitting down together to talk about their spilt on GMA tomorrow morning.
Tonight, I’ll light some candles, throw on a little “Year 3000″ and remember the good old days. Here’s to you, Kevin, Nick and Joe–May you and your brothers remain tight, and your pants even tighter.
By Allie Ditkowich
