You probably woke up Thursday morning with A) a keen sense of regret for those post-2AM texts you sent, B) a massive, pounding hangover from those tequila shots your best friend convinced you would be a good idea to take, C) the thought that most of the people you went to high school with are still assholes, or D) some combination of all of the above that became one general feeling that you probably should’ve abstained from the whole “biggest party night of the year” thing.
I myself woke up with a big case of Choice B, promptly threw off my covers, and sought out coffee, bagels, and the beginnings of stuffing being made in my kitchen. But due to the fact that I was at home, these amenities were not free. I had to pay the toll. The price? Information.
“So how was it last night?” I sighed, I shrugged, I it-was-fine’d my way through the entire conversation and then, in a moment of uncharacteristic morning eloquence, I said: “It made me thankful for every decision I’ve made since leaving high school that put me where I am today.”
While Thanksgiving Eve may be Revenge Of The Nerds set in a local dive, it also serves as a catalyst for revelations that you can only get by drinking Bud Lights in Gordo’s Bar and watching your neighbor make out with your best friend.
Whether you made the choice to stay close with your high school friends, or simply choose to spend more time with your college friends, everyone generally ends up in the same place for those few hours on Thanksgiving Eve. And whether you’re genuinely happy to be there or simply there for the ride so you can provide snarky and cynical commentary, it quickly becomes clear that some things just don’t change.
Like, for instance, the obligatory kiss hello. This tradition, previously reserved for drunken uncles and overly touchy aunts, has become the Godfather-esque way of showing respect and friendship for old high school frenemies or anyone you’ve ever met since 2004 – at least in my little hygienically unconcerned corner of the suburbs. To snub the half-hug and cheek kiss hello is to plant the seed for a potential civil war.
And there are other things – like the way that even though you’re older, wiser, and shouldn’t still hate that girl that was sneakily in love with your ex-boyfriend, you know, deep down, you still want to punch her in the face. These things that give you the strangely comforting realization that nothing and no one, not even you, have changed all that much. Especially not when you’re back in the old bar, with the old friends, and all the usual suspects.
So however you woke up on Thursday morning, you also probably woke up with a few new additions to that list of what you were thankful for. For me, my mascara-crusted eyelids opened to a world where I was thankful that I wouldn’t have to subject myself to another Thanksgiving Eve at [insert local dive bar here] for another 364 days. But that I always know where to find The Old Days if ever I need them.
By
This post was originally published November 27, 2012.
Thomas Bertrand
My high school buddies and I have a tradition where we go to the strip club on Thanksgiving eve…. I mean, strippers gotta buy presents on Black Friday Too! Am i right!?
So I’m thankful for Strippers and booze, cuz lets not kid ourselves…. none of us were really that cool in high school
TB
Douglas Newell
I am thankful for strippers, booze, keyboard guitars, tuxedo t-shirts, and the fact that boy meets world is coming out with a sequel. FEENAY