Dear Jack: Is His Phone Dead?



Dear Jack,

Why won’t he text/call me back?
Hey Phone Frenzied Phoebe,
Like I have said before if a guy wants to get in touch with you, he will find a way.  Remember this, “No response is a response in itself”.  Girls go absolutely crazy when guys are slow to text back and they start coming down with “cellulite” (not the kind on the back of your legs).
Cellulite symptoms:
1)  Monitoring your phone non-stop
2)  Counting the amount of time between responses
3)  Numbering the amount of responses
I have seen girls with such bad cellulite they had to have a friend watch their phone downstairs for two hours because they had such bad cellulite!  It was literally like watching someone coming down off crack or an episode of Intervention!  Please remember, guys have other things going on besides watching our phones and playing text message games.
So a day goes by and he doesn’t get back with you.  Forget about him, if he comes back around, make him pay a little bit – give him the silent treatment (just for a couple hours) and you will prove your point.  If he doesn’t come back around, forget about him, delete his number because you will get drunk and you will text him and it will say “was I not good enough” or something along those lines.  I have seen this time and time again.  Remember no response is a response.
Hope this helps,
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