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My mother keeps telling me I need to slow down. I thought she was crazy. But today, I realized that if I would just slow down, I could see all the great things I’ve done. I can’t believe I even said that: “great things I’ve done”.
As ambitious women we have such a hard time slowing down and acknowledging our own accomplishments. In fact, for the most part we’re told that if we’re an ambitious go-getter, we must be overly humble in order not to intimidate and offend. Hence, I think I don’t slow down because in my eyes, nothing I’ve done is that great. That’s why, before I even finish the first goal, I’ve already begun outlining the second. Then I play the waiting game. Waiting for me to pat myself on the back; of course that never comes and then it becomes a vicious cycle of: hard work, no pat on the back, more hard work, and still… no pats on the back.
Why am I never satisfied with my own accomplishments? I have tons of friends and family members telling me how proud they are of me. Little mentees, who truly are my world, telling me they want to be just like me. Complete strangers, young and old, telling me I inspire them. My response: Me? Why?
When I was nominated for Woman of Distinction in 2011, I thought they sent the congratulatory e-mail to the wrong person. When I won the Irma Almirall-Padamsee La Fuerza Community Enhancement Award, I said verbatim in my opening speech: “I haven’t done enough to earn this”. As my eyes were welling with tears, I meant it; I had not done enough. Certainly not enough for them to stop their busy day and watch me except an award I didn’t think I deserved in the first place.
Last year at Syracuse University’s homecoming, I sat on a panel for “Communication and Rhetorical Studies” alumni. On my far left sat web design guru, Andrew Farah. To my immediate left was international plus size model turned entrepreneur, Melissa Aronson. What on earth was I doing there?
I have met phenomenal women from all over the state of New York that suffer from this very same complex. In fact, if you are reading this blog post, you may be one of the many Janes of All Trades who is uncomfortable in her own skin suit. That’s when it hit me: we’re afraid to admit we work hard.
I work hard to excel in my academics, I work to hard strengthen my walk with Christ, I work hard to change my community, I work hard to be that smile on TV that makes you feel bubbly inside, I work hard for girls to look at me and say “I can do it too.”
I’m not there yet, but the point is– people are acknowledging my hard work along the way. Acknowledgment, of course, is the greatest motivation.
You got the promotion, you became an executive, you made partner, you opened that business, you started that blog. When someone tells you that you inspire them, flash your pearly whites and say “thank you.”
So thank you to everyone who ever wished me luck, to every girl who asked me for advice, for every lecture or panel invitation, for anyone who ever said “you go girl!”
There, my first pat on the back….now back to work;)
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