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The author and her husband as Nancy Drew & Frank Hardy, Halloween 2005 |
First we are dressed by our mothers as pumpkins and ghosts. We are carried from door to door, and set down after the bell is rung to toddle forward cutely with a plastic jack-o-lantern. When we say “Trick or treat!” for the first time, we drool heavily, and it comes out sounding more like “Dwick-er-eeeee!” We are applauded for this. Our parents eat the candy because, well, we don’t have all our teeth yet.
Then we are dressed (still by our mothers) as princesses and pink Power Rangers, though technically we choose these costumes ourselves. They are wrapped in plastic and sold for $7.99 next to the pumpkin carving kits at the supermarket. We think we are elegant. We pronounce “Trick or treat!” correctly this time, and we refuse to share our candy. Mom and Dad eat it anyway, one baby Tootsie Roll at a time, while we are asleep.
One year, our parents postpone costume shopping until it’s too late. The stores are picked clean. Over our protests, Mom digs out an old rainbow-colored clown wig and smears a tube of Reject Red lipstick far, far outside our lip line. We wait until after it’s truly dark, then scoot reluctantly out the door with an empty pillowcase, hoping no one will recognize us. Dad whispers, “Don’t worry. Just tell people you’re a Psycho Clown, and you meant to look like this.”
The years roll on in a series of cute, predictable characters. We are Pippi Longstocking, Wonder Woman, and Zombie Prom Queen. Trick-or-treating changes for us over time. The candy is still delicious, but we also want to flirt with the boys, running around in the dark, dressed like Convicts and Hobos. Our parents hope this doesn’t say anything about our future taste in men.
Suddenly, we’re too old for it. We’ll don cat ears and a tail for Halloween at school, but when the night comes, we offer to hand out the candy. It disappears faster this year than ever before, both because we sneak a few extra pieces during each lull, and because we scoop a few extra pieces into each trick-or-treater’s bag. They run, happy and loud, into the night. We watch the fairy wings dissolve into the darkness and know how it feels.
We wonder if we’ll ever enjoy Halloween again.
The answer comes as soon as we’re old enough to drive. Halloween parties! At a friend’s house, at a frat, downtown in the nearest big city. We get costumes again! They are skimpy or gory or both, and we love them. We get candy! Without the shame of going door to door. This lasts into college and beyond. Halloween is saved!
Each year we are challenged to find costumes that are unique, quality, affordable, and, depending on the need, either prize-winning or work-safe. (Rarely does a costume fall into both these categories at once.) If we’re unwilling to depend on the old stand-bys (e.g., witch, ghost, Britney before her comeback), we turn to the internet for inspiration.
In case you’re still at a loss for what to wear on the big, spooky night this year, here are a few ideas:
- The most popular adult costumes in 2011 included Captain America, Where’s Waldo, Jersey Shore, and Lady Gaga.
- and you’ll see creative characters including Juno & Bleeker, Crayola Crayons, and Barbie dolls (still in their boxes).
- Be a meme! Overly Attached Girlfriend is a simple one certain to get you a few laughs.
- And don’t forget that Halloween falls one week before Election Day! Make a political statement (or anti-statement) by taking on Michelle Obama as Mom-in-Chief, Paul Ryan as beefcake, or any version of Big Bird.
Have fun!
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