We’ve all been here: your best friend, partner-in-crime, person who always provides you with fantastic morning after tales of regret and questionable judgement takes up a new post as “In A Relationship.” Cue freak out.
GIF from
We all know what happens next. Texts start to go unanswered, plans get cancelled last minute, beds go un-slept in, and eventually we’re watching our favorite rom-coms alone on the couch on a Saturday night, ’cause, well, we’ve been dumped.
Alas, we can relate. We’re happy for our friends – really! We want them to find love, and laughter, and someone who makes them feel like they’re dancing on clouds, and all that crap. But does that mean they have to disappear all the time? It’s bad enough we have to do the regrettable and questionable things ourselves now, but with our friends Taken by their sometimes-sub-par-counterparts, now we have to regret and question them alone, too!
So while we’re supportive and happy and blah, blah, blah it’s become clear that we need some ways to save ourselves from this heartbreak.
Number 1: Diversify your assets.
Don’t worry, we’re not about to get business-y on you here. But the i-banking types have a point when they give the tip of portfolio diversification. Same goes for friendships. Having friends from many different circles and points in your life means that when one drops off, it’s far less noticeable. Sure, you can still be pissed when they bail on a movie when you’re just pulling up outside their place to pick them up (that’s just #rude), but at least you’ll still be able to conduct social business as usual.
Number 2: Learn to relish your alone time.
Sometimes, watching that rom-com alone can be healthy. For instance, you can really cry, sing, dance along to the catchy song like no one’s watching.
Number 3: Realize it’s business, not personal.
There comes a point where we’re all in the business of finding something serious. When the right guy or gal comes along, it’s only natural to want to spend more time with them – especially during the initial Honeymoon period. Realize it’s not you, it’s your friend. They’re making a choice to spend their time differently and, chances are, it’s not because of something you did.
Number 4: Perfect this face.
GIF from {Hello Moye}
You’re going to be using it a lot – especially when other people ask you where so-and-so has been lately.
Number 5: If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
If your friend continuously bails on you for his or her new S.O., turn your plans into their plans! This may involve accepting those half-hearted “want to come?” invitations and it will most likely result in you third-wheeling pretty hard, but you definitely get an A for effort.
Number 6: Make them an offer they can’t refuse.
Now we’re not saying bribe someone to hang out with you. That tactic ended as soon as we left our sorority houses. But, be smart here. If your friend is a sucker for all you can eat sushi, suggest going to the new place that just opened around the corner. He or she loves Emma Watson? Let’s go see “Bling Ring”! Suggestions of sure-fire yes situations give you a leg to stand on when your friend consistently says “no” and let’s you build your examples ammo if/when you try Number 7…
Number 7: Try talking to them.
Tell your friend how you feel. Maybe something along the lines of, “I’m happy for you. And [insert name here] seems really great, but it hurts my feelings when you (ditch out on plans at the last minute/blatantly prioritize your three week old “relationship” over our friendship/have to be touching every seconds that you two are in the public presence of others/can only have conversations mentioning your significant other’s name/generally are annoying) and I want to talk about it.” Actually, that is a really mature way of handling this situation….so, about -1 of us will ever do this.
At the end of the day, we’re all offended and offenders. It’s kind of like being personally victimized by Regina George.
GIF at {}
Strangely enough, we never learn to treat others how we want to be treated. Girls and guys who watched themselves get sucked into Relationshipville once before, often come out the other side recognizing it was wrong, but not acting much wiser the next time the bus comes around. Hence the vicious circle continues to claim its victims.
We wish you the best, dumpees. It’s never easy, but it gets better. And if you’re looking for Netflix suggestions to get you through your new lonely nights, may we recommend Mad Men. At least you’ll be in good company with falling apart relationships and a good drinking buddy in Don Draper should you wish to deal with your sorrows in that way.
Cheers?
By
Thanks to for help with GIF-hunting.
